We’ve all encountered people who don’t understand our disease. Whether they’re ignorant and don’t believe bipolar is a real affliction or they just can’t comprehend it, there will always be naysayers or those who can’t sympathize. Here’s a roundup of questions and statements we with bipolar hate being asked or told.
1. Did you take your meds today?
This is a loaded question. Do I seem off? Everyone has good and bad days, and we bipolar individuals are entitled to a bad day every once in a while too. It might seem like a simple teasing statement, but it’s not funny. It’s insulting.
2. Oh yeah, I’m like that sometimes.
The weather is not bipolar. The stock market is not bipolar. And you are most likely not bipolar if this is just a “sometimes” occurrence. Feeling sad or happy are normal emotions. But for someone who is bipolar, these emotions are taken to the extreme. You may have temporary depression, but depression is still quite different from being bipolar. Bipolar is a serious word not to be thrown around lightly.
Even those who aren’t bipolar may experience depression. The loss of a loved one or a divorce can trigger a depressive episode. But unlike bipolar, this is due to the trials and tribulations of external circumstances. They are not due to a chemical imbalance. We who are bipolar endure depression because of our unsteady brains. A depressive episode can happen at any time, for no reason at all.
3. Have you ever tried to commit suicide?
If the answer is yes, we don’t want to talk about it. These are bad memories that ought to be buried forever.
4. Does having bipolar mean you’re crazy?
No, we’re not crazy. We might exhibit occasional crazy behavior in the initial phase of our disease, when mania hits. But once we find the right cocktail of medication and we follow our doctor’s instructions, we are as normal as can be.
5. Why don’t you have a drink?
It should be perfectly acceptable for someone to not partake in alcohol. Most of us are on meds and are not supposed to be drinking anyway. On the flipside, why do you drink? We’re not asking you that question.
6. Pray it away.
This is one of the problems I have with Alcoholics Anonymous. The solution to everything is to say the Serenity Prayer. And while that can have a calming effect even for nonbelievers, it’s a tough one for someone who is atheist or agnostic, like I am. No matter how hard you try, praying won’t lift you out of a depression.
7. Can’t you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get out of bed, and power through your day like the rest of us? Snap out of it!
This is the absolute worst thing you can say to someone who is depressed. If we could push through our day, we would. Depression is achingly crippling. Not only do you feel beyond sad, you can feel it in your body as well. You feel heavy, like you can’t move. In the most severe cases of depression, crying hysterically about nothing at all makes functioning at work or anywhere outside the home impossible.
So the next time someone comes at you with one of these questions or statements, be honest. Explain. Be pragmatic. Make a statement: when you say _____ it makes me feel _____. Not in a combative way, but in a soft, demonstrative way. Try to foster understanding. If you do, the person will probably see your side of the street.
