Aloha! Today I celebrate six years of sobriety. Six years ago, minus one day, I was drinking two bottles of wine or two six packs of beer and smoking crack with homeless people every night. I nearly got addicted to crack.
It’s astonishing to think about the inferno of misery and agony I inhabited in 2012, but it was indeed very real and I was very much in denial about my addiction. I thought I was happy. What I learned is that in fact I was a wretched, depressed, desperate, and dismal human being. Subhuman in fact.
I never knew life could be so much better without alcohol and drugs.
Now, this year, I’m about to release the memoir I’ve been writing since then, and I couldn’t be more excited about it.
Writing the book helped me realize just how hard I’d hit rock bottom. When I was sunk in the depths of my addiction, I wasn’t a good son. I wasn’t a good brother. I wasn’t a good uncle. I was a drunken, lying, wreck of a person. With every word I wrote, I became increasingly thankful that I’d moved past that phase of my life.
Today, I’m grateful for everyone who’s supported me and helped lift me out of that abyss, particularly my mom and dad. I’m currently on Maui, where my parents live, to attend my dad’s 80th birthday celebration, which explains why I’m wearing an out-of-character rainbow-colored Hawaiian shirt and just a few of many leis my dad received at his birthday bash.
Six years in, I’m starting to take better care of my body. I’m going on a new, sugar-free, carb-free diet in hopes of shedding some pounds I’ve gained since getting sober. No more ice cream or pizza for me, at least for a while.
I’ve already started taking steps to quit smoking, although it’s harder than I thought it would be. I’m using the patch, and so far I’ve cut my smoking in half. I’m hoping it’ll be easier when I get home to Chicago, since it’s dreadful to go out in freezing temperatures just to satisfy a nicotine craving.
I credit my sobriety to my nine-year-old nephew Peter and my sister Colleen. Colleen gave me an ultimatum at my intervention: “Quit drinking or you can’t see my son anymore.” And it worked.
I cherish hanging out with my nephew now. I’d like to think I’m “the cool uncle.” I gave him my old iPod. I teach him about music by making mixtapes for him. The latest one is an anthology inspired by him asking me “What is punk rock?” (I edited out the naughty words.) I took him to the Takashi Murakami exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art because I knew he’d like the whimsical work of the avant-garde Japanese artist.
He also joined me for a few hours last summer at Lollapalooza, where we watched Tegan and Sara, as well as DJ Slushii. Unfortunately, Tegan and Sara didn’t play their big Lego Movie hit “Everything is Awesome,” but he liked it anyway. And he listens to that song all the time on his iPod. He especially liked the people-watching at Lolla.
I write every day, even on vacation. I’m writing this now from the lanai of my parents’ home.
But it is this blog that keeps me sober. Ultimately it is you guys, my readers, who have really kept me sober all this time. So, thank you. I don’t want to let you down. And I never will. Mahalo.
