In this excerpt from The Eccentrics – my book out in 2016 – we meet Jennifer, a coke-head musician who finds solace in punk rock and classical music.
Illustration by Ana Mouriño
Before there were drugs, there was music. When she listens to music, anxiety disappears. Depression fades. A warm sensation settles over her body.
“Music is a huge part of my life and a major coping skill for dealing with stress,” says Jennifer H., a 31-year-old brunette and classically-trained musician with an endearing smile. “When I put music on, I feel like everything makes sense and that I will be OK.”
In 4th grade, Jessica joined the school band in Elmhurst, IL. She played the clarinet. “As soon as I picked it up, I could play it,” she says. “I could make it sound beautiful.” The teacher took notice of Jessica’s talent, and would have her play for the class an example of the assigned music.
…
In 2007, Jessica met a “charming” new boyfriend – Alex – a coke dealer who also had bipolar disorder. He was diagnosed. She wasn’t. They did coke all the time. Alex would have Jessica help break up the powder and put it into baggies so it could be sold. She would sample the product while they rationed it out.
Alex didn’t work aside from selling cocaine. “He just came over to my house one day and never left,” Jennifer says. “He wouldn’t let me pay for my coke though and that’s the one way I was always able to contain my drug use because I would never do more than I could afford.”
Her addiction escalated. She started doing Oxycontin every day – $40 a pill. She was going to underground parties held in abandoned warehouses. They were kind of like raves but more hip. DJs from around the world would spin a style of electronic music known as breakbeats. She was doing ecstasy, mushrooms, LSD or nitrous at these parties.
