Are you bipolar or an addict looking for insight from a like-minded soul? Have a loved one suffering from bipolar or addiction and want some inside advice? While I’m not a doctor or medical expert, I can tell you about my experiences with this dual diagnosis and look to support others with replies. Note that your submission may be used in an upcoming blog post, although names will be changed.
This week Sara V. writes:
I’m bipolar 1, I have borderline personality disorder, and I’m a recovering addict. The meds for bipolar make me feel as though my brain is in a vice grip. To take them or not to take them: That’s the question I struggle with on a daily basis. Ironically enough, I never questioned taking drugs while getting high. Like any good addict, I want to have my cake and
eat it, too. I want to feel the high of mania and still be able to have a fluid thought process. I’d just like to get your personal experience with medication.
Love your page. Thank you for spreading awareness.
Hi Laura. I’m bipolar 1, too. Thanks for your question. Finding the right medications is one of the toughest parts of this disease.
The first psych med I tried was Prozac. It was in 2007 and I was producing Gideon Yago for MTV News in New Hampshire at a live show we did with then-presidential-candidate John McCain. It was a Q&A with college students asking the questions. My palms started sweating perpetually for the entire weekend.
I lived in New York at the time, and as soon as I got back there, I started seeing a psychiatrist. She diagnosed me with depression and prescribed Prozac. The Prozac turned me around and I felt so good. Too good. A couple months later after a slow ramp-up, I was full-blown manic with psychosis and hallucinations.
I got my bipolar diagnosis and my doctor first tried Lamictal as a mood stabilizer and Geodon as an anti-psychotic. One morning, I crashed. I couldn’t get out of bed and I couldn’t stop crying.
This was the start of a year-long depression in which we tried an alphabet soup of medication. Lamictal. Geodon. Klonopin. Propanolol. Wellbutrin. Paxil. Prozac. Trazadone.
We also tried Abilify, which was more like de-bilify for me. I vomited within 10 minutes of taking it. But as my first psychiatrist always liked to say, “Everyone’s brain is different.” What works for you might not work for me and vice versa.
Like I said, I was depressed for a year while we tried different medications and different doses. I went for a second opinion. The new doctor recommended Lithium. Lithium was the magic bullet for me. It lifted me out of that depression almost instantly. Lithium is the oldest drug used to treat bipolar, but it is tried and true. It’s amazing how one pill could make all the difference, but it did.
We found the right balance of medications for me. And I’ve been on the same regimen since 2010. Lithium. Lamictal. Prozac. Geodon. Propanolol (for tremors, which are a side effect of Lithium). Klonopin (for sleep). And Seroquel. We change doses from time to time, but that’s the cocktail that works for me.
It’s quite possible that you and your doctor haven’t found the right combination yet. So it’s very important for you to communicate to your doctor how these drugs make you feel. Are you tired all the time? Do you have insomnia? Do you ache? Do you have racing or obsessive thoughts?
If you want to feel normal, keep at it. I have faith that you will feel like yourself again. Just give it time.
Everyone else out there, what medications work for you? How do each make you feel? Leave a comment below.
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