Are you bipolar or an addict looking for insight from a like-minded soul? Have a loved one suffering from bipolar or addiction and want some inside advice? While I’m not a doctor or medical expert, I can tell you about my experiences with this dual diagnosis and look to support others with replies. Note that your submission may be used in an upcoming blog post, although names will be changed.
This week Laura B. writes:
: My friend Steph has bipolar and a drinking problem. She had been sober for about 3 months and was doing really well, but she texted me last night and I invited her over to watch a movie with me and my husband and a friend. Over the course of the texts she mentioned she was having a couple of beers, which concerned me. After she got to me place, she told me she spent Christmas with her sister and roommate drinking and smoking weed and that Christmas was the first time she’d had a drink since deciding to be sober.
She brought a tallboy to my house and kind of nursed it but since she’d already been drinking and since her tolerance was way down from not drinking for 3 months, she got a little drunk. Nothing crazy. I barely noticed until she was leaving and mentioned that she felt a little drunk. She’s also been practically chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes and her smoker’s cough was so bad we could barely watch the movie, but that’s a problem for a different day, I think. Maybe.
I guess what I’m asking is how I should handle this. I didn’t want to scold her for drinking. I’m not her mommy. And she’s really stubborn about feeling like she’s in control of things even when I’m pretty sure she knows she’s not. She’s really sensitive to criticism and if I’m too brusque with her, I’m like 90% sure it’s gonna make her drink more or be mad at me. And if she’s mad at me, she’ll push me away and I won’t be able to support her at all.
Steph doesn’t do moderation, so I don’t think I’m pearl clutching over a couple beers here, because I would be really surprised if she didn’t go back to getting hammered every night. Really worried. She’s not in great shape. She’s always given me really sound advice so I know she’s not unreasonable entirely. What should I say to her? What would you say to her?
I’ve butted heads with other people over stuff like this before but due to Steph’s personality, this situation is kind of delicate. I’d appreciate any advice you can give me.
Thanks, Laura for your question. It’s clear that you’re very concerned about your friend Steph.
All I can do is share my own experience and what I’ve learned from my seven years as a diagnosed bipolar person.
When you drink on your bipolar medications, they don’t work. It’s a toxic combination. As I’m writing my book I hear more and more people’s stories of struggle. For me, going to AA and taking my meds has been the winning combination.
If there’s one thing we sober addicts know, it’s that once we start drinking or using, we can’t stop. Your friend probably knows this way back deep in her mind, but it might be a good idea to remind her. Tell her the truth. She has a disease. A disease that needs treatment.
Then tee her up for an AA meeting by saying “Why don’t I find a meeting for us to go to?” Hope this helps. Keep us posted.
