Maybe it’s the bleeding-heart liberal in me, but I’m a sucker for being politically correct. I like to know how to speak without offense to anyone and out of respect for everyone. So — on the occasion of National Suicide Prevention Week — I thought I’d explain what to say and what not to say with regards to suicide, as it seems to me the correct phraseology has fairly recently changed or more commonly been used.
The vernacular has been to say that he or she “committed” suicide. It is no longer acceptable to use the phrase that one has “committed suicide.”
Although it is still something that should be abhorred by society, suicide is not a crime in my opinion. People can “commit rape” or “commit murder” — those are crimes — but they do not “commit” suicide. Further, this phraseology merely adds to the stigmatization of suicide, for families and friends left behind.
Also, “committed” implies that there was a choice involved, when the suicidal person actually does not in fact have a choice because they are in such a doomed headspace that they believe the only way out is suicide, therefore it is the “only“ choice. The person who is suicidal bears no choice with regards to feeling suicidal. It is no one’s fault to be suicidal.
For those who attempt and live to see another day, they should be referred to as survivors. They are not victims nor are their families. How can they be victims when no one else hurt them but themselves? And their families are happy and proud of their loved ones’ recovery so neither are they victims. Same goes when the fatal act is completed. No one is a victim. A person made a choice not to kill or injure someone else, but to end their own intolerable suffering. The family survives and remembers their loved one as they loved them, not as a victim.
The preffered terminology of today is that a person “died by suicide.” This is something I have only been privy to since I wrote about Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade and their suicides back in June.
Back then I wrote:
There’s little the self can do to fight the negative thoughts that overwhelm to the point of destruction. In that respect, suicide is like a volcano. If your brain is wired for depression or suicide, like a volcano is wired to erupt, when the sleeping dragon awakes, the fire and frenzy flows down to the sea, and there’s no turning back. When that TNT fuse is lit, it’s only a matter of time before the explosion hits.
The World Health Organization released a guide for the media that recommends that journalists and writers refer to someone as having “completed suicide.”
The white paper also says that it is dicey to mention the means of suicide in detail. I got in a bit of hot water among you — my readers — when I explained in depth the methods used by Bourdain and Spade in completing their suicides. Why? Because a vivid description may glorify or glamorize the act of suicide and may trigger copycats. However, I did make a case for why suicide is not selfish, selfish being the sentiment that is still the reigning paradigm of how people view suicide.
According to the Center for Disease Control, suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in the US in 2016, and that is not acceptable. Suicide rates have risen 30 percent within the last 20 years.
Mental illness is often a precursor to suicide. No one should die in this heinous way, and we should continue to fight stigma surrounding mental illness. Using the correct terminology isn’t going to bring back the 44,965 loved ones who ended their lives in 2016, but it’s a start.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
And take a look at the suicide awareness music video for “1-800-273-8255” by rapper Logic, embedded below.
