Metallica’s James Hetfield Expounds on Addiction and Recovery In New Interview

They’re arguably the greatest metal band of all time. (Unless you count Led Zeppelin as a metal band, in which case they play second fiddle).

Metallica is notorious for playing hard and partying harder. In a 2003 interview with MTV, lead guitarist Kirk Hammett described the band’s drinking days:

When I first met these guys, they were drinking vodka like it was water. I would start drinking about twelve in the afternoon, we would arrive at the club and go straight to the bar and see how much booze we could consume for free, and by the time we went out onstage we were almost always sauced.

It became part of our legend. People would know when we were coming into town to stock their bars and make sure there was always a lot of booze for us to drink.

The band’s reputation for drinking earned it the nickname Alcoholica.

While drummer Lars Ulrich had a cocaine problem until 2008, frontman James Hetfield never touched coke or heroin. Alcohol was his drug of choice. But while his bandmates cooled off with the drinking as the years went on, Hetfield never slowed.

He had a problem, and he finally admitted it in December 2001, when he went to rehab, an event documented in the 2002 documentary Some Kind of Monster.

Now, with 13 years sober, Hetfield recently opened up in an interview with Road Recovery, a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating young people about addiction.

“You wouldn’t really like me if you knew my story, if you knew what horrible things I’ve done,” he tells Road Recovery. “I’m coming to grips with that, ’cause I have groups of people that I’m able to share all my horrible stuff with — shameful, extremely shameful, dark stuff. Some of it is things I’ve taken from my parents and carried it a little further. Other ones, I’ve been able to drop some of that. Other ones I’ve picked up on my own and then created… Shame’s a big thing for me.”

Coming out of rehab, Hetfield went straight edge, meaning he doesn’t put anything chemical into his body. The straight-edge designation comes from a song title by1980s D.C. hardcore-punk band Minor Threat, which contains the following lyrics:

I’m a person just like you
But I’ve got better things to do
Than sit around and fuck my head
Hang out with the living dead
Snort white shit up my nose
Pass out at the shows
I don’t even think about speed
That’s something I just don’t need
I’ve got the straight edge

Members of the straight-edge movement identify themselves by tattooing Xs on their hands. Hetfield bears a straight-razor blade X tattooed on his wrist.

“The old straight-edge tattoo, it’s just like a big X on your hand: No drinking — and I don’t drink. It’s like when you go into the clubs, they put an X on your hand [when you’re under 21],” he tells the Metallica fanzine So What.

“And I don’t need drink or drugs,” he continued. “That’s straight-edge life. Obviously I’m not straight edge — a true, hardcore straight edge has never had any of it in his or her whole life. But I’m a reborn straight edge.”

While in recovery, Hetfield concluded that the root of his problems is fear.

“And that’s what it’s like for me in recovery at times,” Hetfield tells Road Recovery. “Afraid to take on responsibility, new sponsees or something, or allowing myself to stand up and shine… I’ve got new tools, I’ve got new hope, new love, new respect for myself.”

“Playing music saves my life,” he continues. “Every day it saves my life. When I’m able to write a riff, write some lyrics, that’s the way that I connect with the world.”

I can totally relate with Hetfield. When I was drinking every day, all I did was drink, sleep, and watch TV. I barely listened to music, which had been my greatest passion.

When you get sober, one of the most amazing feelings is to reconnect with your passions. For me, it’s writing, creativity, and listening to music. Writing The Eccentrics is saving my life. Writing this blog is saving my life. And you guys, my readers, are saving my life. And that’s why I am a grateful, recovering bipolar alcoholic.

Enjoy this live clip of Metallica playing their classic “Master of Puppets,” a song that could very well be about addiction.

Conor Bezane

Head Writer

Conor Bezane is a music-meister who has written for MTV News, AOL, and VICE. He is a recovering bipolar addict who can be found digging through the crates at a local record store when he’s not attacking his keyboard, writing nonfiction. His first book, The Bipolar Addict, is available now on Amazon.